When setting up this blog The Wife thought it would be a good idea to ask ChatGPT for ideas about what to say and what kind of things to talk about.
Obviously, we have our lived experiences of raising an AuDHD son and living lives with either Autism (me) or ADHD (The Wife). We are a very neurodivergent household (we even blogged about it here). Our experiences are just that – our experiences and may not accurately reflect the lives of another parent, or child, with some form of neurodivergence.
I thought it might be interesting to have a look at what the AI (and they will one day takeover the world like The Terminator or Johnny Five) has to say about all things non neurotypical.
So, what was the first thing AI said about being ND parents raising an ND child?
“Navigating neurodiverse parenthood and family life can be a unique journey filled with challenges and moments of humour. As a parent on the Autism Spectrum, raising a child with Autism and ADHD can present its own set of circumstances. From trying to decipher nonverbal cues to managing sensory sensitivities, everyday life can be an adventure in itself.”
I would argue that navigating any parenthood and family life is a “unique journey” as no two children are the same. Even identical twins have some things that they differ on. All parenthood and, let’s face it, life, is filled to the brim with challenges and moments of humour. As an introduction it is a bit generic. I do like the sibilance of “sensory sensitivities” as that does pose something else to think about when it comes to food, clothing, shops and socks. I think I would prefer using the term 'challenges' not "circumstances" as well.
“One of the most amusing aspects of neurodiverse parenthood is the unexpected comedic moments that arise. Tantrums over mismatched socks, insistence on having the same meal every day for a week, or debates over the correct way to organize toys can all lead to moments of laughter and shared joy.”
It's important to note here that we didn't request AI give us us the humorous side of raising an ND child, nor did we mention anything comedic or fun. But sure, full on meltdowns and tantrums are great craic. How many parents have you heard say, “oh, my little Jimmy had a massive meltdown in Tesco this morning. It was so funny.” None. Because it is not fun. If you, are anything like me, and do not fully understand what is making people upset then good luck calming down someone in the midst of a meltdown. A meltdown is NOT A TANTRUM but an intense uncontrollable reaction to a situation that has become completely overwhelming for the individual. I find trying to calm The Boy down during a meltdown extremely difficult and sometimes the only option is to watch my child, my world, in intense pain and wait. And be there for them during the meltdown itself and the recovery. I'm relieved to say, we as parents are getting better at helping prevent such meltdowns by helping The Boy identify triggers and manage them plus using techniques we found here. His meltdowns are rare now but they are still heart-breaking to witness and, from personal experience, awful to experience. During a meltdown the individual is frustrated because they cannot express what they want or need and then I am frustrated because I do not have a single clue as to what to do or, normally, what the actual issue is. You have mismatched socks? So what? No one will see them. Because of my autism I struggle so hard to put myself in someone else's shoes, if it's not a problem for me then it shouldn't be a problem for them right? Wrong. Very very wrong. And trust me no one is laughing during this situation. AI absolutely nailed minimising and fobbing off this issue.
“Balancing different needs, preferences, and challenges can be a delicate dance, but it can also lead to moments of understanding, compromise, and unity.”
I guess, maybe so but, it's so much deeper than whatever the f*ck a "delicate dance" is.
“Finding the humour in everyday moments can be a powerful tool for building connection, fostering understanding, and creating a warm and welcoming family environment”
Why does AI believe that neurodiversity is a laugh a minute? Our neurodiverse household is actually quite stressful as no one really knows what they are doing at any given moment. Bills are left unpaid. Delivery drivers know you on a first name basis. No matter how much you try, the house is a mess and the dishes go from not there to all of them needing washing in the blink of an eye. You have to be very particular about where you go out to eat because your son can only eat 5 things. You struggle buying clothes for your child because of his sensory sensitivities. You stress because you cannot hold down a job because you have said something to one of the bosses that they do not like. Throw in the crippling low self-esteem and anxiety that seems to be obligatory in most ND people and it's hard work. Yes there are humours times but there are also immensely difficult times and it's about time we spoke up about them.
I understand that, maybe, the AI has been programmed to find positives in life. And there are. I wouldn’t change, swap or alter my family for anything. The Wife knows me better than I know myself and The Boy is the nicest, kindest child I could have asked for. However, it is not a laugh a minute.
Using AI to help inspire ideas or to have a look at what programmers think is appropriate is a decent idea but, I don't think it can beat the actual lived experience of people on the Spectrum. Neurodiversity is such a broad topic and contains a plethora of difficulties and achievements. It presents differently in every individual and every individual deserves to be heard.
With that in mind. We want to hear from you. If you are on the Spectrum or spectrum adjacent then please comment below, email us at oldandautistic@outlook.com or contact us here and tell us your story. What is it you like, dislike, worry about or want to celebrate about your neurodiversity? Let us know and we can all broaden our knowledge of just how diverse this spectrum is. We want this to be a safe space for the neurodiverse community and we want to advocate your stories. Get in touch!
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